To those who have asked me if I have been okay over the last....lets say 2 years, I have lied to you. A lot. I don't even know what "okay" feels like any more... Feeling "okay" is such a foreign concept to me these days because I believe I suffer from chronic depression and I am probably the best actor because a lot of you would've never guessed it.
Now thats not to say I'm never happy. Please. Understand I have happy days and such but...when I've been asked "Are you okay?" and I told you "Yeah I'm fine", it was probably a lie. I just...have been living through a lot of problems. My family especially...They have been thorns in my side for like...ever! My grandmother thinks I'm a twisted failure and my aunt is her echo. My uncle is a bastard who thinks that if he sides with the "family" all his past sins will be forgiven and he'll be coveted by the family. And my mother...well...my mother has been my mother. These days though, thats been a good thing. She's been quite the support system, to my surprise! And my father...well...he has been the foot in my ass... Now I will definitely say this. I love my family...but it can be assumed that 90% of my dysfunctionality can be blamed on them. Go figure.
Then there are my siblings....
My sister... Today I noticed something VERY disturbing. I sent her a pic comment on MySpace and and she sent one back...and she said that I look like MY father...not OUR father. And then i noticed that she dropped his last name and got her stepfather's last name...thats disturbing to me. Why? Because she has basically disowned our father. And how could this be possible?! Her mother Antoinette. She is the scourge of life and she is very vindictive. Her and her family...EVIL! She hates me, my father and my mother. Why? Because she is bitter that she lost the man she pushed away...Hmph! That somehow translates into our fault...I hate her...So now...welcome to a dose of my world.
Didn't laugh? Sorry...I wasn't feeling very funny at the moment. I needed to vent. If you want funny and random, then I'll be posting another blog soon. I promise to make it funnier. So until later. Thanks for reading by the way. Later
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